Gratitude Came to a Halt

Well, I couldn't do it. I'll have to start again, maybe when I'm not starting a new job, trying to move, getting ready for Christmas.  :(

It's not that I'm not grateful, I am. It's that I'm allowing all the above stuff to come between me and being disciplined enough to gratefully blog each day for thirty days. Maybe I should practice blogging straight for thirty days before attempting to earn the gratitude badge.  :(

Eh.

Gratitude Day Fourteen

Tonight I am ever so grateful for the things that we take for granted that make housekeeping so much easier. Electricity for light, for the computer, for the tv that keeps me company and the radio that accompanies Tim, propane gas for cooking and heating, running water that I can use to wash my dishes and my clothes and my body.... If we were living a hundred years ago, I would be trying to clean up supper dishes by oil lamp, heating with a fireplace or wood stove, and not looking forward to washing my clothes by hand tomorrow.

Life IS a lot easier with all these conveniences.
When I talk about wanting to get back to basics, make my own soap, milk a goat for family consumption, grow a garden to put up my own food, it's not because I want things to be more difficult, or have a lack of appreciation for the conveniences of today, but rather because I want my family to eat healthfully, to live in health, I don't want to forget times gone by, nor the sacrifices our forerunners made for us, and sometimes it's just more fun to do things in an old-fashioned manner.

<And today was a lot better, after I had a nap. lol>

Gratitude Day Thirteen

Today I am really really grateful for the internet. Actually, not a day goes by that I'm not grateful for that and the power necessary to run the thing. It is my delicate string-line to sanity.

Most days I feel pretty decent and pretty well connected, but there are those days and sometimes days in a row, in which I do not feel well connected; I feel off-kilter and decidedly off balance, and the internet allows me to touch base with friends, loved ones, complete strangers, even, and this helps me to balance my emotions once again.

Today is turning into one of those slightly sideways days, and tonight (it's past 10pm) I'm really glad it's just almost over, and tomorrow's another day.

Gratitude Day Twelve

<This is a bit of a cheat because I just posted last night's gratitude, but as I mentioned, I had a friend over til way late, so I'm just now posting for both today and yesterday!>

I woke up this morning in a lot of pain. Part of it, surely, was the fact that I had overdone it yesterday, and gone to bed quite late...close to 1am.  It's 8:33 right now as I write this, and I'm in bed. That's more normal for me! lol  Another thing that is not normal for me is to feel much gratitude at all for modern medicine, but without it, I would not be able to hobble into the bathroom in search of ibuprofen first thing in the morning to help me feel better, or at 3pm to find the bottle of Excedrin migraine, and experience relief.

The problem I have is that I believe that most of my daily dose of pain is brought on by modern food production and preservation methods, so I find it rather difficult to be grateful for the medicines that are so affordable and close at hand because I feel I caused the pain myself, or we, as a society, did.

Still and all, I need to be grateful for these things, and more cautious with my body, what I put into it, to what I expose it, and then perhaps I will need fewer modern meds.  Wouldn't it be NICE to be able to go search out a willow tree and harvest a little old-fashioned aspirin when one had a headache? But wouldn't it also be a bother to have to go down to the creek with the harvesting tool and basket in order to get a little remedy?  I mean, it's super nice to walk into my bathroom (which I'm grateful is indoors!) and just pick up a bottle and swallow a pill; whether or not I caused the pain in the first place, whether the cure is worse than the cause, those are debates best saved for another day.

In Gratitude,
Rebecca at Ruby Lane

Gratitude Day Eleven

Last night when I went to bed I was thinking about Timmy and what a neat kid he is.

Yesterday I cooked him some scrambled eggs and sliced up some sausage to go with them.  Normally he won't eat eggs, but we've gone gluten free, recently, and so anytime he can get me to cook for him, he's eating!  Anyway, when I brought the pan over to him and starting scooping sausage into his bowl, I asked him how many. He said, "More."  I kept scooping.  And scooping. And scooping. (There were two links cut up.) I kept thinking at any point he would say, "That's enough." But he never did. I got to the last three and with each one he said 'more' til I did the last one and then he said, "That's enough."

I laughed so hard I thought I'd cry.
I don't know why certain things hit my funny bone like that, but he's such a straight guy that his sense of humor nearly always catches me off guard.

I'm very grateful for Timmy.

<This was last night's post.  I had unexpected company, and we talked til past midnight when she finally went home, so I did not post last night! Shame on me...>

Gratitude Day Ten

I'm bound-n-determined to be grateful for 30 consecutive days whether I feel like it or NOT!

LOL

Today I am grateful I didn't have to spend all day in pain like I spent all last night. I went to bed with a headache, which rapidly turned into a migraine, and I was unable to pinpoint its cause.  In the night I got up and took some Excedrin Migraine and two Aleve thinking that if my neck muscles could relax I'd be feeling better, and in the night my head somehow began to feel better. All day today I have felt as though I'm on the verge of a headache, though not like it was last night. Plus I've been super tired... could it be from taking two Aleve at some early hour of the morning? Very possible.  I get really tired when I take Aleve or Benadryl.

I took the day off. Normally I would push myself to do things I know I should do, such as finish cleaning up the apartment and repaint those walls... but I was just so exhausted from the move, the stress, the concern over money, that I just could hardly move. I took the day off.  Tomorrow, however, will be another thing entirely.  I have to get back over there and finish cleaning so that I can paint so that I can get (hopefully) our deposit back!

It's the only time in... YEARS that I have stayed my entire length of the contract, given appropriate notice and left the place clean and tidy. Now normally, I do leave a place clean and tidy, but I don't always stay as long as I think I will, and I certainly don't always give notice... I really believe my gypsy lifestyle has a lot to do with being bi-polar. Not an excuse; just sayin'.

So this time I did, and I'm very content within myself that I did what I was supposed to do, and that makes me feel good inside.  Now, to get on with really stretching out and living, in our new lovely home!!

Gratitude Day Nine

I skipped a couple days. Actually, I didn't so much skip, as miss.  I missed a couple days... BUT in my defense, I didn't actually have internet during those days because we were moving!

Now Ruby Lane Farm has a home! And for this I am grateful!!!
:D

I'm grateful for the additional SPACE we have here!
I'm grateful for the animal pens that are already in place here!
I'm grateful for the cats that already live here because it means we do not have a pet deposit, but there are pets available to us!
I'm grateful that Timmy is already settled in and seems so happy to be here!

All this and much more!
:)

So, as you can see, no shortage of gratitude here!
Happy Holidays!
Rebecca

Gratitude Day Six

Tired. So tired.
I am already this tired and haven't yet started moving!

I've been packing. And cleaning, here and at the new house.

Gratitude for the day:  Finances! Grateful I don't have to be gone from my home for 9 hours a day to earn an income. Grateful I get to stay home and do the things I love. Money is tight, but it is not non-existent, and I'm grateful for the Lord's provision!

And now I'm going to bed. :)

Gratitude Day Five

When I forget to be gratefully aware, I find myself easily bored, or when that comes to full term, depressed.

Today I was not grateful for anything. I just went about my day doing a whole lot of little sewing projects, irritated because I have no money (due to mismanagement) to buy the next round of things that will help those projects continue. For instance, I finished up a bunch of little stuff toys, but can't stuff them because I don't have money for gas to get to the fabric store or money to buy the stuffing.

I made Tim's pj's, but have no money for buttons.
So I wait.
I don't wait well. I don't do "in the meantime" well.  But I live so much of my life IN the meantime you'd think it would be old hat. It's not.

So today I am having to look a little deeper for gratitude and I came up with a couple.  First, it's a good temperature in my house... and cold outside. I have lights and the ability to use my electric appliances because my Pay As You Go account for electricity did not run out before the end of the month.  I will have more money in a few days, and my power did not get shut off. That's awesome.

I'm grateful I live alone (or with Timmy who really doesn't care) because no man I know would enjoy it as COLD in my house as I like it.  :)  That's all for now. I'm going to go eat some oatmeal, and be grateful for it.

Nocturnal arboreal herbivorous marsupials

Tim and I are watching some cartoon on tv.


"You do know about koalas don't you?

No.

Well, they're nocturnal arboreal herbivorous marsupials.

Americana please!

Oh. They're tree hugging, leaf eaters, and the ladies carry their young in pouches, mostly awake at night.

OH. HIPPIES."

So from now on, the penguins call the koalas "hippies".  ROFL

This just hit my funny bone.  :D

Gratitude Day Four

Today as I am packing up my apartment and watching The Marty Stuart Show on RFDtv, I am grateful for the peace that fills my heart in Jesus.

Gratitude Day Three

Today I am most grateful for my sewing machine. I remember last year I desperately needed one to make Christmas gifts, and this year I'm burning it up making Christmas gifts.

Also, I recently made a historical costume, a civil war era day dress, and was ever so glad to not be hand stitching it!  So I'm also grateful for electricity.  :)

Gratitude Day Two

Today my depression lifted. It's not because of anything anyone said or did or anything I did or thought...I think it might be as simple as a change in the weather. I didn't know a Northern was blowing in, although I knew the forecast called for somewhat lowered temps...from 82*F to about 78*F...it's 55*F now, though!

I love the cooler weather. Even rainy, I love it because it's cooler. I don't even mind rain, a lot or a little, as long as it's not humid after. Hot and humid is the norm here and we've had a long hot summer.  Even with the onset of fall we've had only two small breaks in the heat, so for this I am grateful.

Grateful for the weather change, and grateful for the lift of depression. These two things combined make me feel energetic and joyous. I have all kinds of craft and sewing and decorating ideas cluttering my thoughts, each vying for more attention than the next thought coming even more quickly on its heels. If I am slipping into mania, it's not full blown, it's only mild, and if indeed it is mania, we'll see a certain rush of activity that cannot even be stemmed by simple exhaustion.

Excellent timing, in fact, since we are now counting down to move day.  Six days to go!

Gratitude Journal

Hello, faithful follower(s)! (I only know of one follower...thus the (s):)

Today I am beginning my gratitude journal that I will attempt to keep for one month. Shouldn't be hard to do. I could write a whole list of things right now for which I am truly grateful!

But because it is an exercise for a Mary Jane's Farmgirls badge, I will be doing this as per the instructions which read thusly:

Earning Farmgirl Sisterhood Merit Badges

Each Other

9. Farmgirl Gratitude

Beginner Level

• Write a gratitude journal every day for a month. Don’t repeat the same gratitude more than once to qualify for this merit badge.

Yesterday I spent all day in a spin-down. It was terrible. An emotional jag like that can leave a person feeling hung-over the next day, but not so for me today.  I woke up in the night throwing up. That'll get your attention.  And for some odd reason I feel better today than I did before the whole crying my eyes out hating the world feeling absolutely destitute for no real reason.

Weird how that works. I'm going to cheat a little on my gratitude journal and say I am grateful for tv, yesterday, because it gave me one small connection to the world around me when I was completely unable to reach out to anyone in my real world. I left that thing running except for when I finally drifted off to sleep, and I don't remember anything I watched but it kept me from thinking of ways to wreak havoc, and that, my dear follower(s), is a good thing.

So today's gratitude:

I am grateful I am moving. On December first we plan to move out of this dreadful little apartment and into a three bedroom (mobile) home, complete with an acre yard, and livestock pens already built out back.  This morning I got new upstairs neighbors.  Need I say more?

Biding My Time

I was at work the other day and a manager from another store told me I may be the luckiest person she knows. (Which is really sad for her!) She said because I told management here at my store that I will be leaving at the end of November and didn't just not get fired but I also got a raise, and she can tell I'm just biding my time, I must be like the little seed that fell into a dung heap!

That really made me laugh.

She's right, though - I'm just killin' time til I can get out to the farm and then it will be pedal to the metal to get that farm up and running!  And I can't wait.

(remind me of this when I'm dying of sleep deprivation during lambing season)

Today I went to the Dollar Store (bad enough - but I managed to avoid Wally World) and the Health Food Store for our week's groceries. DS had canned veggies on sale two for a dollar so I picked up a couple extra. I can't wait til I can can my own. I also bought organic produce at the HFS but the cost is so high there I couldn't get everything I wanted.

That is going to be one of my goals along with providing fresh, wholesome produce, meat and milk - to make it affordable AND good for you.  I know it's a stretch and there are those who will say it can't be done, but hide and watch. Let's see what the Lord will do.  Hide and watch.

Visiting Hico

Timmy and I went for a short visit to the land which Linda has decided to share with us.  She has some acreage and is setting aside a small portion of it specifically for me, and in exchange I will be helping her to get "our" farm up and running.

The goal is a self-sustaining farm, one with chickens and goats and sheep and pigs and maybe even a milk cow, a whole passel of dogs and cats and rabbits too.  Some of these are for meat, some for eggs, milk, cheese, and some for just their hair or wool.  Some are multi-purpose.  Linda wants a pig for a pet. Not me.  I want a chicken for a pet.

I love chickens.

Next time we go I promise to take pictures.  This is all I took this time:

This is the river that borders the west property line. Isn't it lovely?

You'll probably NEVER catch me swimming in it, as pretty as it is.  I might fish there though....

Just some wooded area. I think it's so lovely. I do love trees.

And that's me. I need to put on a shirt! (Anyone know how to photoshop one on me?) LOL

Excitement!

Working at a convenience store, killing time til my lease is up, sometimes it isn't easy to stay the recommended (ok, scheduled) 8 hours.

I may be in trouble for leaving early today. But sometimes, I swear it is all I can do to not jump up and down in place and then run right around in circles hollering "I'm moving out to the farm! I have a farm! Linda is giving us a place to live and be and call our own!"

And then I remember that THEY are not going to like it so much, my leaving, especially after spending all this time (a month) training me to be an assistant manager at said convenience store.

I don't really even know how to tell them I'm leaving either.  I'm hoping as the time nears words will just come to me.

Getting Started

I woke up this morning in a state of barely controlled mania.

I have made the decision to take a friend up on her offer to share her farm, and now I'm wondering how to go about extricating myself from the life I've made here in this county!

So many questions arise:
How to quit my job here?
How to find a job there?
Will I need a job to support my farm habit?
For how long will i need an outside job?
How long will I be able to devote time to an outside job before making the switch to full time farming?

What kinds of farm animals do I want?
This question is almost silly. I know I want nearly any farm animal, but the question really should be, which ones can I afford.

How will I be able to afford to do any of this?

Stay tuned for more questions.
I was going to say for answers to these questions but I am certain the next thing I'll do is have more questions.